Today is the day! Happy 3rd anniversary Nina and KK! The week did go by fast to my surprise, but I have really been pouring myself into work and we've been concentrating on the house, so luckily we've been sufficiently distracted. I have that warm excitement filling me up right now, the anticipation is palpable, I barely know what to do with myself. I have a pretty extensive to-do list for the day, which includes buying Kristian the new Kings of Leon album that came out yesterday, (I'm notorious for buying him gifts that we'll both use - but it's cool because we agreed "not to buy each other anything"), and also buying myself (the business) an iTalk voice recorder for my phone interview with Joe Bonamassa this coming week (you can read all about that in the music blog after it happens, I'm super nervous, Joe is an amazing musician....) so I can preview his show at Harrah's this coming Thursday. -------- This feeling, I'm happy to say, is a familiar one. I have been blessed enough in my life to have many very happy birthdays and Christmases and Thanksgivings... and a beautiful, unforgettable wedding day... to recognize the excitement that I feel this morning. More than just the anticipation of an event, it's the anticipation being with family, talking, laughing, loving... I remember many instances when Joe was alive and we were in full swing of family get togethers (besides Joe himself it's the thing I miss most about when he was alive) where I found myself thinking: "this is what life is about." I had figured something out through those years that will stay with me forever - nothing is more important than the people you love and the people who love you. I take my relationships seriously (maybe too seriously sometimes) because they're important to me. I've learned that that's simply not the case with some people, but everyone comes from their own roots and all you can do is try to stay true to your own. You can't turn anyone into the person you wish they'd be. Anyhow, tonight I get to spend the evening with my family, Kristian and my children (although this is the most quiet they'll be in a restaurant in their lives...). We get to celebrate each other over what I know will be an amazing meal, reminisce over the past three fast, amazing years, and finally discover who our children are. Days like this are meant to be cherished and I plan to do just that. If you think about it, and I think about things like this a lot since Joe died, you only get a certain number of days like this, and so you'd better be present to them and appreciate their fleeting beauty and importance. Especially since, unfortunately, none of us know just how many of them we get - both the great ones and the not so great ones. And as romantic as it may sound, I plan on celebrating the not so great ones as well. As long as I have my family next to me - is anything really that bad?
------------------- Happy birthday Big Joe! Of course you know that we all wish you were here.... I know you're looking down on us, some of us you're proud of, some of us you'd love to slap clear across the face. You'll have your time. :) There's never been a single day when you are not a part of my thoughts at some point of the day, and although I am so fond of all of the memories I have of you and of our life as a family, I must be honest and tell you that there is still a gaping hole in my heart that I'm not sure ever will be filled. It's things like your death that make us all realize truly how unfair life can be. However, it's things like your life that teach us to treasure it. There's so many people who miss you and love you and relish the thought of seeing you just one more time - I guess we'll all get our time eventually! Love you and hope you're having a big 'ol party up there. (In case you haven't seen the painting below, it was a gift from Kristian to my mom the Christmas after Joe died.... beautiful, right?)
Have a great day everyone, and just so you know, I'm not posting the genders of the babies until after Saturday - if you're coming to the party Saturday you can vote in the 50/50 raffle we'll have going - YES I know there's a party but I DO NOT know any other details than that. All I know is it's Saturday. Thanks again for stopping in, give everyone you love a squeeze today and let them know it! xoxoxxooxo, Joanna